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Published 2022.04.09
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HIV AIDS PREVENTION

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6 Things You Should Never Say to Someone with HIV
Asking the wrong question or saying the wrong thing can make a conversation awkward and uncomfortable, especially if it’s about someone’s personal health.

Over the past 5 years of living openly with HIV, I’ve had many conversations about my journey with friends, family, and acquaintances. Through those conversations, I’ve gained insight into what the least helpful things are to say to someone living with HIV.

Before you say one of the following statements or questions, please take a moment to consider what impact it might have on the person you’re speaking to. You’re probably better off leaving these words unspoken.
When you ask me if I’m “clean” in reference to my HIV status, you’re being dirty.

Sure, it’s just a phrase that saves you a couple of seconds saying (or typing) some extra words, but for some of us living with HIV, it’s offensive. It can also negatively affect our confidence, whether that’s your intention or not.

As the Stigma Project puts it, “clean” and “dirty” are for your laundry, not for describing your HIV status. A better way to ask about someone’s HIV status is simply to ask when they had their last screening and what the result was.
Asking questions about HIV and being curious about the day-to-day of living with a chronic condition are completely understandable. However, how I was exposed to HIV isn’t really something you have a right to know.
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